Napping for Idiots

Napping may indeed rise to an art form when practiced in meetings, weddings, marriages, divorces, sentencing phases, etc...  I would like to help you help yourself become a better napper.  To this end, please carefully follow these instructions.


1.  Think about all of your wide assortment of personal and financial troubles.

2.  Pick one and follow it through to the worst case scenario.  Repeat for several different categories of worry.

3.  Consider how fast your own demise will come.

4. Will five people attend your funeral?

5.  Imagine what the homelessness will be like.  Become one with the "Will work for beer" sign you will likely hold.  What does the sign feel?

6.  What kind of dog will you have sitting next to you?

7.  How much dog food can you buy after redeeming a sack of aluminum cans?

8.  Then, return to present.  If you die in the night, who will get the cat?  Dwell on this for a time.  Will they understand her unique hairball problems and challenges?

9.  If a giant cockroach appears out of nowhere, will you have time to take appropriate measures?

10.  Finally, just reflect on your last tax return!


That's it.  Goodnight!