Public Service Message Regarding Financial Proctology Exams

Membership status under review  seems rather harsh, don't you think?  Well, whether, or not, I am indeed an official card-carrying member of the Society of Financial Proctologists, I will always consider meself a member in the truest sense of the word.  Either way, I feel it is my profound and real obligation to remind my readers that April 15th is the date by which your financial proctology exam for 2011 should be completed.  

I urge you to not take this important civic duty lightly.  In fact, I suggest you celebrate on April 15th by wearing our official aluminum hat.  Every aluminum hat-wearing person I see on April 15th will give me warm fuzzies knowing how much of a difference I have made.  (It also helps with AM band reception.)

Meantime, I hope you're having as much fun as I am today sorting through the associated paperwork.  Don't you love financial puzzles--e.g. why am I saving a receipt for 100 squirrel feeders.  Gotta love it!  

PS.  Bubba Clyve Bubbason, president of SFP, are you wondering who drove the Prius into your koi pond?  It was I--you dimwitted and evil-smelling man.  Now, if you would be so kind as to call a tow company, it appears I may have driven your neighbor's car in by mistake.  I hope this will not have a negative impact on my membership status with SFP.  If so...please shred mail coming from me next week, and don't accept the delivery of the large box with airholes.    Thank you--you swine.  (Let us settle this once and for all--with a QuickBooks General Ledger duel.)