Giving Back & Withdrawing it Forward

"Missing" Dog #2

Bearing in mind that Monday is a day of service, I thought this would be a good time to air some dirty laundry that's been becoming more and more bothersome--smelly and stinky.  You see, it used to be one of my personal joys every Martin Luther King Day to help our local chapter of Habitat for Humanity.  This e-mail exchange caught me totally off guard...  Now, I'm not sure where I'll get more hammers.

Dear Restless Auditor,

We greatly appreciate the services you have endeavored to provide for us over the years.  Dating back the last fifteen years, we see consistent evidence of your involvement on any number of...projects.  After an internal review, we have determined that your donated time and efforts since 1997, or so, have cost our organization some $2.5 million. 

In a spirit of goodwill and gratitude, we sincerely ask that you not volunteer at any of our projects this year.  This should result in savings of at least $167,000 and help ensure that we keep our current insurance carrier.  

We'd also like to quickly draw your attention to the whole backhoe incident of 2012.  We don't mean to be rude or ungrateful, but we still are unable to locate where you put the following: (1) backhoe, (2) 2 interns, (3) assorted hammers, (4) small outbuilding, (5) 2012 Lexus, (6) 2 feral cats, (7) 3 dogs, (8) 4 dwarf hamsters, (9) 24 nail guns, and (10) 2 ladders.

If you'd like to know how you can help, please keep your door shut--with you on the inside.  

Sincerely,

Jonathan T.M. Reckford

Habitat For Humanity CFO

Dear Mr. Reckford,

I don't read between the lines very well...  Does this mean you don't want me to show up on January 21st?

Dear Restless Auditor:

YES!!!!

Sincerely,

Jonathan T.M. Reckford

Habitat For Humanity CFO

Haven't Written Anything for Long Time!