Important Christmas Safety & Security Tips

I come to you today from our annual auditor conference in beautiful and cheery Minot, North Dakota.  As we pulled away from the ol' house at 3686 Restless Auditor Way and the horses started in at a good gallop, it occurred to me that perhaps burying that box of Krugerrands in the backyard was not such a great idea after all.  What if a meteor hits and vaporizes everything while we're enjoying a life of luxury in Minot? 


At any rate, this is as good a time as any to share some of the holiday safety tips which I've gleaned from years of gleaning.  Now, first things first, this whole internet thing makes it way too easy to share vital important details with total strangers.  For instance, if I were to disclose on a public blog that I keep $10,000 in cash in the oven and that the "Beware of Dog" sign on the property is a blatant lie,  (Truth be known, our pitbull, Betsy Boo, is the sweetest creature.  Sometimes, we even remember to feed her. She doesn't like people, though.  Eventually, the therapy sessions should cure her of this, or so I am told (by Animal Counselor Dr. Rev. Priestess Spring Winters.)  Time will tell, as it so often does.)  then that could be said to be kind of "foolish."


You see, some people comb the internet for fluffy bunny slippers, some for breaking auditor news, and others are up to mischievous behavior.  Yes, it's true.  Some people use the internet for less than honorable purposes.  It is hard to believe, I know.  I won't go into examples, except for Community Organizers, but you get my drift.  Oh, there are also people who will steal your id, but, at least, they are said to leave behind your ego and super-ego. 


I'm afraid I've lost my train of thought, and I seem to be sitting alone on the caboose of this train, so...I must leave now.  


If you wouldn't mind keeping an eye on 3686 Restless Auditor Way while we're gone, we'd sure be grateful.  (We'd send you a zucchini if it were the summer--but maybe we have some old ones outside.  Help yourself!) I've got this feeling I might have left the stove on, and the front door is likely unlocked with the big screen television right there in the living room--next to our collection of 24 ct gold nose rings.  Makes a guy nervous, you know.  Also, please watch out for flaming meteors.  Good night!


In case you don't hear from me again until 2012, Merry Christmas from the whole gang here at the Restless Auditor!  (Keep those General Ledgers clean and watch those deductions.)