Membership status under review seems rather harsh, don't you think? Well, whether, or not, I am indeed an official card-carrying member of the Society of Financial Proctologists, I will always consider meself a member in the truest sense of the word. Either way, I feel it is my profound and real obligation to remind my readers that April 15th is the date by which your financial proctology exam for 2011 should be completed.
I urge you to not take this important civic duty lightly. In fact, I suggest you celebrate on April 15th by wearing our official aluminum hat. Every aluminum hat-wearing person I see on April 15th will give me warm fuzzies knowing how much of a difference I have made. (It also helps with AM band reception.)
Meantime, I hope you're having as much fun as I am today sorting through the associated paperwork. Don't you love financial puzzles--e.g. why am I saving a receipt for 100 squirrel feeders. Gotta love it!
PS. Bubba Clyve Bubbason, president of SFP, are you wondering who drove the Prius into your koi pond? It was I--you dimwitted and evil-smelling man. Now, if you would be so kind as to call a tow company, it appears I may have driven your neighbor's car in by mistake. I hope this will not have a negative impact on my membership status with SFP. If so...please shred mail coming from me next week, and don't accept the delivery of the large box with airholes. Thank you--you swine. (Let us settle this once and for all--with a QuickBooks General Ledger duel.)
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