Breaking Update on Koi Pond Saga...and Digression on Men in Tights

As I was pawing through Mr. Bubbason's garbage late the other night, I realized that some of my many, many readers may have become confused in the complex koi pond saga.  My first inclination was to laugh gleefully, but then I realized that confused readers might be less likely to purchase official Restless Auditor merchandise, and this made me very sad.

I put down the banana peel covered in coffee grounds and decided to do a short summary of this unfolding saga of accounting excitement.  Not to turn off my readers, but I decided to also employ "links" to where more information can be absorbed or gleaned--depending on time of day.

I first conveyed my questionable membership status within the Society of Financial Proctologists here ("link").  I did my best to focus on the concerns of daily life, but I found myself continually haunted by this serious membership concern--not to mention my entire 4th grade class who have taken up residence within my brain, their voices constantly calling upon me to do good and constructive things, but (no worries) I try to ignore their little high-pitched voices.

Being an emotionally-sensitive auditor, this situation quickly got under my skin.  I tried to make amends here, issuing a gentle and profoundly-touching apology.  Sadly, this failed to resolve the problem.  After my apology was so rudely disregarded, it's true there may have been some mischievous actions undertaken involving a koi pond and a duck, but, if I did them at all, I am entirely innocent--because I wish to be.  I am, after all, completely persuaded of my innocence and lack of culpability in all things--including the great Seattle fire of 1851.

That's about it.  As I sorted though Mr. Bubbason's garbage can under the stars in that gated community, I was struck by my innocence in all of this hubabaloo.  After all, I am such a nice guy.  It puzzles me that people (Mr. Bubbason reportedly being one) could be upset with certain things I've "done" or "said."  How, for example, do they know it was my true self?  It could have been on of my impostors.

Oh, yes, there are reportedly going to be big men tackling each other today on television.  No, I'm not talking about a San Francisco parade, but a real current event thingy.  For the record, I am not really in to all this stuff.  In fact, I will disclose that I roomed with three football players a long, long time ago...and they're not as sweetly-sensitive people as you might imagine.  They are also very large, which makes me nervous.  No, I will instead be watching the Tax Channel today. I encourage you to do the same.

It looks like I must leave now in order to help frank wax his unibrow, as I just received the emergency page. (Auditors have a high regard for fashion.)   Until next time, my 1040 friends.

PS.  I never knew koi tasted so delicious with a little breading.  Doesn't taste like chicken, though.